Perhaps it was the crusty burnt sausages or the oil-soaked burger buns that drew me to the pavlova cake. Now I was never a fan of good old kiwi pav, but it was there. And the birthday boy offered me a slice which I absolutely no way could have refused like I always do with the lame-ass line of "I don't eat cake."
Why don't I like pavlova? No particular reason, really, except that one deadly slice is the equivalent to eating a bowl of sugarcubes and downing the whole thing down with maple syrup and caramelised screwdrivers.
Thanks but no thanks.
However not tonight. I gingerly took the slice (that birthday boy had no idea what a favour I was doing him) and ate it like I watch creepy webcam videos of the darn lump of sugar and egg whites on dodgy porno sites. First forkful, I missed the topping and as I swallowed it I was reminded of why I hated the perennially classic pav so much. If you've ever wanted to lose your sweet tooth just eat pavlova and I can guarantee a success rate of 100% + weight loss.
I was still being watched and my pathway to the garbage bag was blocked preventing me from inconspicuously doing a "quickie" (a "quickie" in food terms that is) by the party people happily enjoying their dessert: so I took another bite. First came the overpowering sweetness, AND THEN absolute... The raspberries tasted like what can only be described metaphorically if it were so possible like raspberries. Astonished because raspberries were another one of my dislike foods after a bad encounter with a dastardly sour tub of frozen ones I cleared the plate within a minute bringing me into a new phase of my pav-loving life. Needless to say, serve me up a plate of that stuff any day :)
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